Episode 4, Teens and Mental Health: There Is Help Out There
When Carolyn's son was crippled by anxiety and depression, she and her husband didn't know where to turn. The struggles and uncertainty they faced at a crucial time led her to found Nathan's Waypoint, a safe and supportive space for parents of adolescents and teens living with anxiety and depression that disrupts their lives. Carolyn joined Kristin and Leigh to discuss how she remade her life to serve other parents in the same situation in which she found herself- that of no knowledge and no real ability to know where to turn to find community or resources to help her son.
Episode 3, Redesigning the Modern Midlife Woman
Angela Devlen joins Kristin and Leigh to discuss what it looks like to start over after divorce at midlife with nothing more than mattresses on the floor. Relying on her priorities, her drive, her entrepreneurial spirit, and herself, Angela built a life for herself and her daughter that, over time, became exactly what she wanted it to be. Always an entrepreneur, she used the skills she built over a lifetime to build businesses and relationships that led her to create The Founders Circle with her friend and business partner Mari Partyka. The Founders Circle is an online community of entrepreneurs designed for midlife women. Their understanding of the unique challenging facing midlife women helped them create something completely different - a supportive place where they develop and share resources that are entirely based on solutions to solve challenges they have personally faced as entrepreneurs. Both Women on the Remake and The Founders Circle seek to build community and offer resources for women working to redesign their lives at midlife.
Resources
Angela's Tips for Women on the Remake
Prioritize your friendships and community of women
Self-care expands our capacity to do more - it is not a luxury, but rather a necessity.
Listen to and follow your dreams. We have so much more to offer in our second half of life.
Don't forget to visit https://www.womenontheremake.com to download our Healthy Habits guide - this will help you set a strong foundation for success on your remake journey!
Episode 2, Season 2 The Change Agent-cy
Lisa Chader and Lucia Folk, founders of The Change Agent-cy, join Leigh and Kristin for a wide-ranging, hilarious conversation that covers everything from why they chose to leave great careers in the television industry to start their PR firm to how wonderful and terrible it can be to be in a business partnership with your close friend.
The Change Agent-cy is a management and communications consulting firm that provides social impact strategies and services for the national non-profit and business sectors. Lisa and Lucia work with their clients to provide solution-oriented social impact and communication strategies that strengthen both business and the community.
Visit www.womenontheremake.com to download our Guide to Essential Habits for Women on the Remake!
Episode 22, Women, Shame, And Sex
Cheryl Walker joins Kristin and Leigh to discuss the sexual issues facing women at midlife. The silencing of our sexual voice can lead to an inability to express desires, wishes to try new things, and can limit sexual satisfaction for both women in committed relationships and women post-divorce. Cheryl suggests three tips for women on the remake:
Love your vulva: Examine it, know its beauty, love its power.
Don't believe the hype: Ignore the many voices sending you messages that you internalize to your own detriment and sexual dissatisfaction. The ''hype" can be ideas about what you are "supposed to" like, not like, do, or not do.
Find your sexual voice: This is the voice that is drowned out by the hype. This voice, when given its power, can lead you to sexual freedom, fulfillment, and yes-- fun.
Resources
Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D.
The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer
Episode 24, Light Your Soul On Fire
In this episode, Leigh and Kristin discuss the importance of pursuing your passion at midlife. Not just as a hobby, or a side gig. But making the effort to really chase your dreams. Kristin and Leigh spent a weekend in Nashville planning content for season 2 of Women on the Remake, and in the midst of a weekend of concentrated work, they met with two women who also had made the decision to pursue their passion.
This led to a conversation about how so many women at midlife are dissatisfied, empty, and searching for more meaning. The conversation centers around the benefits of pursuing your passion at midlife. Actually, taking the leap of faith to make a scary change so that you're living in integrity with your truest self. Please head over to our website and subscribe. Kristin and I are planning exciting content for season 2.
Episode 23, Woman on the Remake: Surviving a Narcissist
Our guest this week requested to remain anonymous. In this episode, she tells the story of her 20-year marriage to a man who, by the end of the relationship, was being investigated by the FBI, indicted, and under house arrest.
She was lied to, manipulated, and convinced that "everything was okay", despite seeing blatant red flags from the very beginning. This is her story of finding the strength to leave, and what helps her thrive, even now.
She explains that her belief that keeping her family together was the most important thing caused her to stay in the marriage long after she knew she should leave. She failed to listen to her own intuition but instead tried to keep up the appearance of normalcy for the sake of her children.
When it became clear that her own wellbeing should be prioritized, she found the strength to leave the marriage. We asked her what advice she would share with other women on the remake who may be in a similar situation.
Trust your intuition. Listen to "the whisper". Listen before it becomes a metaphoric 2x4 hitting you in the head.
Surround yourself with loving, empowering women. Know that you need different types of friends. Those that listen while you rage, and those that quietly help you back to your feet and towards the future.
Take care of yourself. Nurture yourself. Make sure your bucket is being filled.
Resources that may help you.
http://chumplady.com/Married to a Narcissist: Enduring the Struggle and Finding You Again by Catenya McHenry
The Gift of Fear by Gavin De BeckerMama Gena - "Get right with your darkness" and the "I've Hit a Rough Patch" swamping technique
Craniosacral therapy - look for a provider in your area
Body energy and breath work
Visualization and meditation - surf the web and do your research to find techniques that suit your individual needs. Leigh's favorite meditations are sleep meditations and visualizations that can be found here. Kristin prefers auditory meditations like the ones found here.
Please note: This podcast is not intended to be professional medical, legal, or psychiatric advice. Our guest is simply sharing her own perspectives and story. If you are in a situation like this one, we strongly advise seeking the advice of a mental health professional, attorney, or even a friend who can help direct you.
Episode 20, Dry January: Will You Drink Again?
In this episode, Leigh and Kristin are joined by Trish Taylor, author of the book "I'm Never Drinking Again: Maybe It's Time to Think About Your Drinking". Trish stopped drinking six years ago after a frightening episode out at a bar with friends. She shares her story, why she chose to stop drinking, and her journey to sobriety.
Our discussion centers on "Where to go next." We discuss Dry January, and how it can be easy to make it through a month off drinking, but the difficulties can come when the calendar turns over and you don't have a plan for what happens the next day.
In this episode, Trish shares a unique and thoughtful approach to staying "dry" that will offer relatability and real help to women hoping to remake their relationship with alcohol.
Resources
Trish Taylor, Author (website)
Trish Taylor Coaching on You Tube
Alcohol Change UK Interactive Resources
Stop Drinking Reddit
Trish Taylor's Books on Amazon
Episode 19: Be Your Own Revolution
Leigh and Kristin are joined by Liz Stubbs, photographer, and Penny Treese, fine artist, to discuss their recent collaboration on "Celebration Portraits". In these magical portraits, the subject goes through an intense photography session with Liz and Penny, designed to bring out their "inner wild", their most authentic self. In this process, and accompanying conversations, Liz and Penny learn about the subject and get to know her. Once the photography is finished, Penny gets to work turning the photographic portrait into a piece of fine art, treated with whatever media she feels is appropriate for that person. In the end, the finished portrait should be a visual representation of the subject's spirit-- her soul. Leigh and Kristin discuss the intersection of this visual process with their work with women on a remake. We discuss the fear and trepidation women feel going into a revealing and personally baring photo shoot, and how powerful and strong they feel afterward. It's parallel with the feeling women have as they truly shed their old selves and begin to remake their life. It truly is transformational. Check them out here! : Celebrations Portraits
Episode 15: Who Does a Woman Want to Be?
Kristin and Leigh discuss a question that seems to recur over many of their episodes, "Who does a woman want to be?" It's a question that many women on a remake are trying to answer throughout their personal journeys. They discuss how women might work to discern adjectives that may most closely describe them, and ask their listeners to come along with them on a working episode as they continue to seek to answer this question.
Episode 14: Woman on the Remake: Fitness Overhaul
As she approached 40, LaQueta Nichols looked at herself in the mirror and decided to take control of her own health. She started with small goals, but as she crushed one after another, the weight dropped off and her fitness level soared. Over time she decided to become a fitness instructor, and now teaches Zumba and small group HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) classes as well as offers personal fitness consultations whenever she can. LaQueta's entire life was remade, including her passion for her "adult job" that she does during the day. Her inspirational story shows that overhauling your fitness can be done with the right mindset and determination to reach those small goals one after the other.
Episode 13: Woman on the Remake: Sometimes You Have to Pivot
Ginger joins us to share how she continues to embrace remaking herself as life demands. First there was agreeing to an unexpected move to Bangkok, Thailand in 2009, which remade the whole family dynamic and every single relationship. Then she made the decision to attend culinary school at Le Cordon Bleu in Thailand--where she was the oldest student. Ginger says this was one of the hardest things she's ever done--physically and mentally. When the time came to leave Thailand and return to Atlanta, Ginger found herself afraid of going back to. her "old life" and wanted to continue the adventure. Ginger and her family returned to the US in 2016, and in 2019 she launched her own travel business. Then COVID-19 hit and she was forced to pivot. Now she's making cooking videos showcasing her amazing culinary skills. Ginger talks about how important it was to her to keep learning and look for opportunities. You never know what's around the next corner, so you might as well hop on board for life's adventures as they come.
Episode 12 - Remaking Your Finances: Knowledge is Power
Laura Rafi, a Certified Public Accountant, joins us to dispel the fears women have around finances, especially during and after divorce. A clear understanding of what you have coming in and what you have going out is the first step.
Laura says that having the outside support of a trusted CPA or financial advisor as you begin the divorce process is imperative. Women need to understand the tax impact of a variety of possible financial scenarios that may be negotiated as part of the divorce settlement. Understanding your financial needs as a divorced woman is key.
The process of dividing assets in a divorce can be overwhelming, but there is no reason women should be afraid-- there is help and education available that can make you feel in control, calm, and ready to face independence. While you may still rely on financial support from your ex-partner, you can begin to plan for financial freedom from day one.
Resources
Wiser Women's Institute for a Secure Retirement
Ellevest: A Financial Company for Women
Books
Divorce After 50: Your Guide to the Unique Legal and Financial Challenges
Prosperity After Divorce: Take Charge of Your Finances & Create the Life You Really Want Using Lifestyle Re-Design Planning
Episode 11 Remaking the Sandwich Generation
Eve McClennen, an Aging Life Care Manager, joins us to discuss the impact aging parents can have on us as we enter mid-life, especially if we have begun to focus on ourselves as our children begin to leave the nest. Women tend to take on more of the care of aging parents, while simultaneously not spending enough time taking care of their own emotional and health needs.
Eve offers excellent advice on the need to prepare for the future, including setting up estate planning, understanding the financial ramifications of caring for aging parents, and making sure advance health directives are in place. These can be difficult conversations to have, but having them is an act of love. Eve shares wonderful resources that can help ease the burden, and gently reminds us that we can't care for others if we don't care for ourselves.
Resources
Eve McClennen, Aging Life Care Manager
https://www.aginglifecare.org/
On Being Mortal by Atul Gawande
"It's Pretty Brutal": The Sandwich Generation Pays a Price--New York Times 2/11/20
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family by Margareta Magnusson
NAELA--National Association of Elder Law Attorneys
Episode 10: Woman on the Remake: Coming Back After Life Knocks You Down
Ashley is a former lawyer currently studying theology. Ashley faced a big personal remake at age 42. She shares the difficulties she faced in her marriage to a man with a substance abuse problem. She faced additional health issues resulting from exposure to black mold and even faced homelessness. It seemed nothing she was doing to "fix" her life was working.
She came upon a friend who asked if she had done any inner work, since it seemed the "outer" work wasn't helping. It was that day that began letting go of controlling the situation she was in, and came to trust that she was where she was supposed to be. She was able to reach a place of gratitude for what she DID have. She spent time working on being "present" and enjoying the small things.
The moment she reached a place of peace with where she was, the positive growth began to occur. Through intensive study of theology and physics, Ashley's personal philosophy began to evolve.
Books for Times of Crisis and Breakthrough
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron (Buddhist nun)
The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell (great audiobook)
Detours by Tony Evans (Christian)
Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser
A Return to Love: Reflections on Principles in A Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson
Anything written by Emmet Fox (Christian thinker)
Astrologers (You Tube)
Annie Botticelli
Nadiyah Shah
Molly McCord
Pam Gregory
Blog/Facebook/Instagram on Science/Religion/Metaphysics
The Sacred Scientist
My Favorite Twin Flame
Books on Science/Religion/Metaphysics
The Self Aware Universe by Amit Goswami (watch his videos)
The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra
The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pa
Episode 8 - Woman on the Remake: Going Dry
She heard the "whisper", "You drink too much." In most of our social circles, alcohol is a central part of every single gathering. Being the person who doesn't drink is HARD. Angie began removing alcohol from her life by participating in a month-long health challenge, mostly because she knew it would be easier to pass off not drinking to her friends that way. She spent all of 2016 playing around with the idea of not drinking, and taking intermittent breaks from it.
Depression, stress, and anxiety were concurrent players in the last year before she really, really quit. She hit her low point when she considered walking in front of a moving car. The following year, she cut her alcohol consumption down drastically, but still had several episodes of heavy drinking before a serious discussion with her husband in August of 2017 caused her to stop for good.
Angie buried herself in resources to help her stop drinking. Meditation, podcasts, Facebook groups, reading... she tried it all. Check below for her favorites. Her social calendar went from ridiculously packed to empty. To avoid the temptation to drink, she stopped going to the Friday Happy Hours, the neighborhood parties, and everything. She began to notice that alcohol is omnipresent in our culture. TV, social media, social events, everywhere.
Over the next two years, Angie went alcohol-free and regained her sense of abundance, her ability to sleep, the freedom to live her life without being dependent on alcohol, and in fact, the pre-alcohol identity she had lost.
Resources:
Podcasts:
The Happiness Lab https://apple.co/31uXgBe
After Alcohol https://apple.co/2FOCXXT
Seltzer Squad https://apple.co/2Hex9rD
Bubble Hour https://apple.co/2HpeOYm
Spiritual:
Your Move with Andy Stanley
https://yourmove.is/
Blog:
Unpickled by Laura McKowen
https://unpickledblog.com/
Books:
Annie Grace - "This Naked Mind" https://amzn.to/3ocRbTV
Jill Stark - "High Sobriety: My Year Without Booze" https://amzn.to/3m9Bmvf