Episode 23, Woman on the Remake: Surviving a Narcissist
Our guest this week requested to remain anonymous. In this episode, she tells the story of her 20-year marriage to a man who, by the end of the relationship, was being investigated by the FBI, indicted, and under house arrest.
She was lied to, manipulated, and convinced that "everything was okay", despite seeing blatant red flags from the very beginning. This is her story of finding the strength to leave, and what helps her thrive, even now.
She explains that her belief that keeping her family together was the most important thing caused her to stay in the marriage long after she knew she should leave. She failed to listen to her own intuition but instead tried to keep up the appearance of normalcy for the sake of her children.
When it became clear that her own wellbeing should be prioritized, she found the strength to leave the marriage. We asked her what advice she would share with other women on the remake who may be in a similar situation.
Trust your intuition. Listen to "the whisper". Listen before it becomes a metaphoric 2x4 hitting you in the head.
Surround yourself with loving, empowering women. Know that you need different types of friends. Those that listen while you rage, and those that quietly help you back to your feet and towards the future.
Take care of yourself. Nurture yourself. Make sure your bucket is being filled.
Resources that may help you.
http://chumplady.com/Married to a Narcissist: Enduring the Struggle and Finding You Again by Catenya McHenry
The Gift of Fear by Gavin De BeckerMama Gena - "Get right with your darkness" and the "I've Hit a Rough Patch" swamping technique
Craniosacral therapy - look for a provider in your area
Body energy and breath work
Visualization and meditation - surf the web and do your research to find techniques that suit your individual needs. Leigh's favorite meditations are sleep meditations and visualizations that can be found here. Kristin prefers auditory meditations like the ones found here.
Please note: This podcast is not intended to be professional medical, legal, or psychiatric advice. Our guest is simply sharing her own perspectives and story. If you are in a situation like this one, we strongly advise seeking the advice of a mental health professional, attorney, or even a friend who can help direct you.